Symptoms, Treatment, and Self-Help for Phobias and Fears
What is a phobia?
Barbara’s fear of flying
Barbara is terrified of flying. Unfortunately, she
has to travel a lot for work, and this traveling takes a terrible toll.
For weeks before every trip, she has a knot in her stomach and a
feeling of anxiety that won’t go away. On the day of the flight, she
wakes up feeling like she’s going to throw up. Once she’s on the plane,
her heart pounds, she feels lightheaded, and she starts to
hyperventilate. Every time it gets worse and worse.
Barbara’s fear of flying has gotten so bad that
she finally told her boss she can only travel to places within driving
distance. Her boss was not happy about this, and Barbara’s not sure
what will happen at work. She’s afraid she’ll be demoted or lose her
job altogether. But better that, she tells herself, than getting on a
plane again.
A phobia is an intense fear of something that, in
reality, poses little or no actual danger. Common phobias and fears
include closed-in places, heights, highway driving, flying insects,
snakes, and needles. However, we can develop phobias of virtually
anything. Most phobias develop in childhood, but they can also develop
in adults.
If you have a phobia, you probably realize that your
fear is unreasonable, yet you still can’t control your feelings. Just
thinking about the feared object or situation may make you anxious.
And when you’re actually exposed to the thing you fear, the terror is
automatic and overwhelming.
The experience is so nerve-wracking that you may go
to great lengths to avoid it — inconveniencing yourself or even
changing your lifestyle. If you have claustrophobia, for example, you
might turn down a lucrative job offer if you have to ride the elevator
to get to the office. If you have a fear of heights, you might drive an
extra twenty miles in order to avoid a tall bridge.
Understanding your phobia is the first step to
overcoming it. It’s important to know that phobias are common. Having a
phobia doesn’t mean you’re crazy! It also helps to know that phobias
are highly treatable. You can overcome your anxiety and fear, no matter
how out of control it feels.
“Normal” fear vs. phobias
It is normal and even helpful to experience fear in dangerous
situations. Fear is an adaptive human response. It serves a protective
purpose, activating the automatic “fight-or-flight” response. With our
bodies and minds alert and ready for action, we are able to respond
quickly and protect ourselves.
But with phobias the threat is greatly exaggerated or nonexistent.
For example, it is only natural to be afraid of a snarling Doberman,
but it is irrational to be terrified of a friendly poodle on a leash,
as you might be if you have a dog phobia.
The difference between normal fear and a phobia |
Normal fear |
Phobia |
Feeling anxious when flying through turbulence or taking off during a storm |
Not going to your best friend’s island wedding because you’d have to fly there |
Experiencing butterflies when peering down from the top of a skyscraper or climbing a tall ladder |
Turning down a great job because it’s on the 10th floor of the office building |
Getting nervous when you see a pit bull or a Rottweiler |
Steering clear of the park because you might see a dog |
Feeling a little queasy when getting a shot or when your blood is being drawn |
Avoiding necessary medical treatments or doctor’s checkups because you’re terrified of needles |
Normal fears in children
Many childhood fears are natural and tend to develop at specific
ages. For example, many young children are afraid of the dark and may
need a nightlight to sleep. That doesn’t mean they have a phobia. In
most cases, they will grow out of this fear as they get older.
If your child’s fear is not interfering with his or her daily life
or causing him or her a great deal of distress, then there’s little
cause for undue concern. However, if the fear is interfering with your
child’s social activities, school performance, or sleep, you may want
to see a qualified child therapist.
Which of my child’s fears are normal?
According to the Child Anxiety Network, the following fears are extremely common and considered normal:
- 0-2 years – Loud noises, strangers, separation from parents, large objects.
- 3-6 years – Imaginary things such as ghosts, monsters, the dark, sleeping alone, strange noises.
- 7-16 years – More realistic fears such as injury, illness, school performance, death, natural disasters.
Common types of phobias and fears
There are four general types of phobias and fears:
- Animal phobias. Examples include fear of snakes, fear of spiders, fear of rodents, and fear of dogs.
- Natural environment phobias. Examples include fear of heights, fear of storms, fear of water, and fear of the dark.
- Situational phobias (fears triggered by a specific situation).
Examples include fear of enclosed spaces (claustrophobia), fear of
flying, fear of driving, fear of tunnels, and fear of bridges.
- Blood-Injection-Injury phobia. The fear of blood, fear or injury, or a fear of needles or other medical procedures.
Common phobias and fears
- Fear of spiders
- Fear of snakes
- Fear of heights
- Fear or closed spaces
- Fear of storms
|
- Fear of needles and injections
- Fear of public speaking
- Fear of flying
- Fear of germs
- Fear of illness or death
|
Some phobias don’t fall into one of the four common
categories. Such phobias include fear of choking, fear of getting a
disease such as cancer, and fear of clowns.
Social phobia and fear of public speaking

Social phobia,
also called social anxiety disorder, is fear of social situations
where you may be embarrassed or judged. If you have social phobia you
may be excessively self-conscious and afraid of humiliating yourself in
front of others. Your anxiety over how you will look and what others
will think may lead you to avoid certain social situations you’d
otherwise enjoy.
Fear of public speaking, an extremely common phobia,
is a type of social phobia. Other fears associated with social phobia
include fear of eating or drinking in public, talking to strangers,
taking exams, mingling at a party, and being called on in class.
Agoraphobia (fear of open spaces)

Agoraphobia
is another phobia that doesn’t fit neatly into any of the four
categories. Traditionally thought to involve a fear of public places
and open spaces, it is now believed that agoraphobia develops as a
complication of
panic attacks.
Afraid of having another panic attack, you become
anxious about being in situations where escape would be difficult or
embarrassing, or where help wouldn't be immediately available. For
example, you are likely to avoid crowded places such as shopping malls
and movie theaters. You may also avoid cars, airplanes, subways, and
other forms of travel. In more severe cases, you might only feel safe
at home.
Signs and symptoms of phobias
The symptoms of a phobia can range from mild feelings
of apprehension and anxiety to a full-blown panic attack. Typically,
the closer you are to the thing you’re afraid of, the greater your fear
will be. Your fear will also be higher if getting away is difficult.
Physical signs and symptoms of a phobia
- Difficulty breathing
- Racing or pounding heart
- Chest pain or tightness
- Trembling or shaking
|
- Feeling dizzy or lightheaded
- A churning stomach
- Hot or cold flashes; tingling sensations
- Sweating
|
Emotional signs and symptoms of a phobia
- Feeling of overwhelming anxiety or panic
- Feeling an intense need to escape
- Feeling “unreal” or detached from yourself
|
- Fear of losing control or going crazy
- Feeling like you’re going to die or pass out
- Knowing that you’re overreacting, but feeling powerless to control your fear
|
Symptoms of Blood-Injection-Injury Phobia
The symptoms of blood-injection-injury phobia are
slightly different from other phobias. When confronted with the sight of
blood or a needle, you experience not only fear but disgust.
Like other phobias, you initially feel anxious as
your heart speeds up. However, unlike other phobias, this acceleration
is followed by a quick drop in blood pressure, which leads to nausea,
dizziness, and fainting. Although a fear of fainting is common in all
specific phobias, blood-injection-injury phobia is the only phobia
where fainting can actually occur.
When to seek help for phobias and fears
Although phobias are common, they don’t always cause
considerable distress or significantly disrupt your life. For example,
if you have a snake phobia, it may cause no problems in your everyday
activities if you live in a city where you are not likely to run into
one. On the other hand, if you have a severe phobia of crowded spaces,
living in a big city would pose a problem.
If your phobia doesn’t really impact your life that
much, it’s probably nothing to be concerned about. But if avoidance of
the object, activity, or situation that triggers your phobia interferes
with your normal functioning or keeps you from doing things you would
otherwise enjoy, it’s time to seek help.
Consider treatment for your phobia if:
- It causes intense and disabling fear, anxiety, and panic.
- You recognize that your fear is excessive and unreasonable.
- You avoid certain situations and places because of your phobia.
- Your avoidance interferes with your normal routine or causes significant distress.
- You’ve had the phobia for at least six months.
Self-help or therapy for phobias: which treatment is best?
When it comes to treating phobias, self-help
strategies and therapy can both be effective. What’s best for you
depends on a number of factors, including the severity of your phobia,
your insurance coverage, and the amount of support you need.
As a general rule, self-help is always worth a try.
The more you can do for yourself, the more in control you’ll feel—which
goes a long way when it comes to phobias and fears. However, if your
phobia is so severe that it triggers panic attacks or uncontrollable
anxiety, you may want to get additional support.
The good news is that
therapy for phobias
has a great track record. Not only does it work extremely well, but
you tend to see results very quickly—sometimes in as a little as 1-4
sessions.
However, support doesn’t have to come in the guise of a
professional therapist. Just having someone to hold your hand or stand
by your side as you face your fears can be extraordinarily helpful.
Phobia treatment tip 1: Face your fears, one step at a time
It’s only natural to want to avoid the thing or situation you fear.
But when it comes to conquering phobias, facing your fears is the key.
While avoidance may make you feel better in the short-term, it prevents
you from learning that your phobia may not be as frightening or
overwhelming as you think. You never get the chance to learn how to
cope with your fears and experience control over the situation. As a
result, the phobia becomes increasingly scarier and more daunting in
your mind.
Exposure: Gradually and repeatedly facing your fears
The most effective way to overcome a phobia is by gradually and
repeatedly exposing yourself to what you fear in a safe and controlled
way. During this exposure process, you’ll learn to ride out the anxiety
and fear until it inevitably passes.
Through repeated experiences facing your fear, you’ll begin to
realize that the worst isn’t going to happen; you’re not going to die or
“lose it”. With each exposure, you’ll feel more confident and in
control. The phobia begins to lose its power.
Successfully facing your fears takes planning, practice, and
patience. The following tips will help you get the most out of the
exposure process.
Climbing up the “fear ladder”
If you’ve tried exposure in the past and it didn’t work, you may
have started with something too scary or overwhelming. It’s important to
begin with a situation that you can handle, and work your way up from
there, building your confidence and coping skills as you move up the
“fear ladder.”
Facing a fear of dogs: A sample fear ladder
- Step 1: Look at pictures of dogs.
- Step 2: Watch a video with dogs in it.
- Step 3: Look at a dog through a window.
- Step 4: Stand across the street from a dog on a leash.
- Step 5: Stand 10 feet away from a dog on a leash.
- Step 6: Stand 5 feet away from a dog on a leash.
- Step 7: Stand beside a dog on a leash.
- Step 8: Pet a small dog that someone is holding.
- Step 9: Pet a larger dog on a leash.
- Step 10: Pet a larger dog off leash.
- Make a list. Make a list of the frightening
situations related to your phobia. If you’re afraid of flying, your
list (in addition to the obvious, such as taking a flight or getting
through takeoff) might include booking your ticket, packing your
suitcase, driving to the airport, watching planes take off and land,
going through security, boarding the plane, and listening to the flight
attendant present the safety instructions.
- Build your fear ladder. Arrange the items on
your list from the least scary to the most scary. The first step should
make you slightly anxious, but not so frightened that you’re too
intimidated to try it. When creating the ladder, it can be helpful to
think about your end goal (for example, to be able to be near dogs
without panicking) and then break down the steps needed to reach that
goal.
- Work your way up the ladder. Start with the
first step (in this example, looking at pictures of dogs) and don’t
move on until you start to feel more comfortable doing it. If at all
possible, stay in the situation long enough for your anxiety to
decrease. The longer you expose yourself to the thing you’re afraid of,
the more you’ll get used to it and the less anxious you’ll feel when
you face it the next time. If the situation itself is short (for
example, crossing a bridge), do it over and over again until your
anxiety starts to lessen. Once you’ve done a step on several separate
occasions without feeling too much anxiety, you can move on to the next
step. If a step is too hard, break it down into smaller steps or go
slower.
- Practice. It’s important to practice regularly.
The more often you practice, the quicker your progress will be. However,
don’t rush. Go at a pace that you can manage without feeling
overwhelmed. And remember: you will feel uncomfortable and anxious as
you face your fears, but the feelings are only temporary. If you stick
with it, the anxiety will fade. Your fears won’t hurt you.
If you start to feel overwhelmed…
While it’s natural to feel scared or anxious as you face your phobia,
you should never feel overwhelmed by these feelings. If you start to
feel overwhelmed, immediately back off. You may need to spend more time
learning to control feelings of anxiety (see the relaxation techniques
below), or you may feel more comfortable working with a therapist.
Phobia treatment tip 2: Learn relaxation techniques
As you’ll recall, when you’re afraid or anxious, you experience a
variety of uncomfortable physical symptoms, such as a racing heart and a
suffocating feeling. These physical sensations can be frightening
themselves—and a large part of what makes your phobia so distressing.
However, by
learning and practicing relaxation techniques, you can become more confident in your ability to tolerate these uncomfortable sensations and calm yourself down quickly.
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and muscle
relaxation are powerful antidotes to anxiety, panic, and fear. With
regular practice, they can improve your ability to control the physical
symptoms of anxiety, which will make facing your phobia less
intimidating. Relaxation techniques will also help you cope more
effectively with other sources of stress and anxiety in your life.
A simple deep breathing relaxation exercise
When you’re anxious, you tend to take quick, shallow breaths (also
known as hyperventilating), which actually adds to the physical feelings
of anxiety. By breathing deeply from the abdomen, you can reverse these
physical sensations. You can’t be upset when you’re breathing slowly,
deeply, and quietly. Within a few short minutes of deep breathing,
you’ll feel less tense, short of breath, and anxious.
- Sit or stand comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
- Take a slow breath in through your nose, counting to four. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.
- Hold your breath for a count of seven.
- Exhale through your mouth to a count of eight,
pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal
muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but
your other hand should move very little.
- Inhale again, repeating the cycle until you feel relaxed and centered.
Try practicing this deep breathing technique for five minutes twice
day. You don’t need to feel anxious to practice. In fact, it’s best to
practice when you’re feeling calm until you’re familiar and comfortable
with the exercise. Once you’re comfortable with this deep breathing
technique, you can start to use it when you’re facing your phobia or in
other stressful situations.
Phobia treatment tip 3: Challenge negative thoughts
Learning to challenge unhelpful thoughts
is an important step in overcoming your phobia. When you have a phobia,
you tend to overestimate how bad it will be if you’re exposed to the
situation you fear. At the same time, you underestimate your ability to
cope.
The anxious thoughts that trigger and fuel phobias are usually
negative and unrealistic. It can help to put these thoughts to the
test. Begin by writing down any negative thoughts you have when
confronted with your phobia. Many times, these thoughts fall into the
following categories:
- Fortune telling. For example, “This bridge is
going to collapse;” “I’ll make a fool of myself for sure;” “I will
definitely lose it when the elevator doors close.”
- Overgeneralization. “I fainted once while
getting a shot. I’ll never be able to get a shot again without passing
out;” “That pit bull lunged at me. All dogs are dangerous.”
- Catastrophizing. “The captain said we’re going
through turbulence. The plane is going to crash!” “The person next to
me coughed. Maybe it’s the swine flu. I’m going to get very sick!”
Once you’ve identified your negative thoughts, evaluate them. Use the following example to get started.
Negative thought: “The elevator will break down and I’ll get trapped and suffocate.”
Is there any evidence that contradicts this thought?
- “I see many people using the elevator and it has never broken down.”
- “I cannot remember ever hearing of anyone dying from suffocation in an elevator.”
- “I have never actually been in an elevator that has broken down.”
- “There are air vents in an elevator which will stop the air running out.”
Could you do anything to resolve this situation if it does occur?
- “I guess I could press the alarm button or use the telephone to call for assistance.”
Are you making a thinking error?
- “Yes. I’m fortune telling, as I have no evidence to suggest that the elevator will break down.”
What would you say to a friend who has this fear?
- “I would probably say that the chances of it happening are very slim as you don’t see or hear about it very often.”
Source: Mood Juice
It’s also helpful to come up with some positive coping statements
that you can tell yourself when facing your phobia. For example:
- “I’ve felt this way before and nothing terrible happened. It may be unpleasant, but it won’t harm me.”
- “If the worst happens and I have a panic attack while I’m driving, I’ll simply pull over and wait for it to pass.”
- “I’ve flown many times and the plane has never crashed. In fact, I
don’t know anyone who’s ever been in a plane crash. Statistically,
flying is very safe.”